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Here are all the current characters updated per series. Characters Currently Alive in the Series. Last updated 5/23/2007

God I hate Clippy. Mr. Gear - Former super hero who saves the world sometimes. He usually makes Clippy do all the fighting. Although he's smarter then Clippy, he's still average intelligence. He is always mean to Clippy and it seems that he's annoyed alot by his antics. And kind of acts like an asshole to people, espically Clippy. Is a recovering alcholic, who can never seem to stay completely off the wagon. Currently: Stuck in jail with Clippy Status: Semi-evil

Man I suck. Clippy - Weak pathetic little paperclip sidekick of Mr. Gear . Clippy does most of the fighting though. Usually gets hurt all the time, and is completely accident prone. Although Mr. Gear is mean to him, he's unusually nice to Mr. Gear and to everyone else. Also kind of a smart ass. Currently: Stuck in a jail cell with Mr. Gear. Status: Super Good.

I'm evil , ha ha. Squiggly mess - Sir Chair's sidekick , Squiggly mess is bacically a fat bastard mess who dies alot and serves no real purpose. Always seems to come back to life, but not in the same episode. Since it's a line, changes appearance every time it moves. Currently: Is now in Jail for destroying the town with his old League of Evil. Status: Evil

Soon I will dominate the world! Sir Chair - Evilest of all evil chairs , he plans to dominate over the world , but is saddened by the fact that he's pine and made from zellers. He won't rest until he kills Mr. Gear and Clippy. The show's first major badguy and screwed over Mr. Gear a lot in the early days, now isn't seen as much. Currently: Not seen since he was hit by a car by General Hand Sanitizer Status: Very Evil.

What the hell is a patient? Doctor Disc - The best doctor in the world. Also he has the strength of 58 hearts. Lost his doctor job and is now out of work. Was in a serious relationship with Nurse Lego and Mr. Gear caused Nurse Lego to leave town and have Dr. Disc lose his home. Currently: Planning to get revenge on Mr. GearStatus: Turning Evil.

I'm so high right now... Nurse Lego - A nurse who's only qualities are that she's insane , and gets high alot. Noone's cheaper and more unprofessional. After Mr. Gear lied to her and made her think Dr. Disc didn't love her, she left town and was never seen again. Currently: Missing Status: Heart-broken.

Must arrest innocent people! Mr. Police - One day a lamp shade , and a bag of chips made love , and out came Mr. Police. He likes to arrest people , and will stop at nothing until his job is done. He takes his job seriously and really hates Mr. Gear and Clippy Currently: Always on police duty Status: Very Good

Oh say can't you see? By the dawns early lights... oh wait , wrong country. O' Canada - Isn't very patrioic and is thought to be an imposter from another country. Currently: Probably getting high somewheres. Status: Neutral (Created by Darkwave)

I'm so smart Nasa Egg Head - everyone comes to him when they are looking for some sound advice or help. He creates alot of good inventions but usually his scientific work turns out to have evil consequences. Currently: Living in his lab always experimenting with something. Status: Good. (Created by Darkwave)

I can always SEE you Lenny the Detective - Used to work at a hardware store, then became a detective/cop. Helps officers when they need to arrest Mr. Gear when he's drunk stealing vending machines or something. Currently: Top ranking officer. Status: Very Good.

You got any crack??? Football - A football who has alot of pressure in his life, so he buys crack alot from Sir Chair...or from any other dealer he trusts. Currently: Selling crack on the streets. Status: Evil (Created by Tim Cyr)

uhhhh...Stan - This is stan careful what you say to him Currently: Drooling somewheres saying "Duhhhhhhhhhhhhh" Status: The lights are on, but nobody's home. (Created by Darkwave)

Can I have your blood? Count Evil - Holy crap this guy is evil!! He is the Father of Dr. Anvil. Currently: In jail Status: Evil

I will devower your soul!!! Evil Orange - Evil orange with nuclear enhanced powers and can steal people's powers and very life force through his mutated orange stem. Also can create cabbage with his mind, and likes to collect Stephen King novels. Known to frequent Burger King. Is currently trapped into an alternate dimension with a horrible colour scheme. Currently: Trapped in some strange alternate dimension Status: Extra Evil

I'm a real asshole Dr. Anvil - The resident town doctor. A competent physician, but a bit of a jerk. Seems embarrased by the fact that Count Evil is his father. Currently: Living next door to Mr. Gear and Clippy Status: Kind of an ass.

Get back or I'll use my clean ray! Mr. Clean - Cleans away evil! A good guy who's obessed with cleaning, and can shoot a clean ray with his eyes. Currently: Leading the League of Lesser Evils Status: Super Hero (Created by Tim Cyr)

Im a freaking shoe what more do you want? Baby steps - A party shoe who likes to give tounge. Also it appears that she has Cheesus's baby inside of her. And also, she has robotic parts. Is currently dating Mr. Gun Currently: Living with Mr. Gun Status: Whore (Created by Darkwave)

I cast you OUT! Father Davidson - Town priest who is excellent at street fighting. Currently: Looking after the town and running the town Church. Status: Super Holy. (Created by Tim Cyr)

Cosmic. Cop Hat - Newest police officer on the force. Currently: On duty. Status: Good.

Cosmic. Tomato - Mail man who seems to be really stressed out at his job. Currently: Working at the post office. Status: Semi-evil.

Cosmic. Mr. Safe - Evil safe who likes to rape people in jail. Currently: In jail. Status: Evil.

Cosmic. Dr. Razer Killsworthy - Evil razer blade that kills people with guitar string. Likes to pretend he's a doctor, but really just likes to kill people. Also can shoot razer lasers. Currently: Filling in as jail doctor. Status: Very Evil.

Cosmic. Hydraulic Lifter - Evil lifting device that threatens everyone by lifting them slightly off the ground. Currently: In jail. Status: Evil. (Created by Tim Cyr)

Rapid paper discharge attack!!! Good Xerox Machine - A good guy that has an unlimited amount of paper related super-powers. Surprisingly powerful for a good guy. Currently: Working with the League of Lesser Evil to protect the world Status: Super Hero

Merry $%&$ing Christmas! The Destroyer of Christmas - he never got his teenage pregant barbie as a kid and now he takes it out on everyone he see's. Currently: Working on destroying more holidays with his hench-men Status: Evil. (Created by Mike McLennan)

I have many board games! Jim the ball of pure energy - A very lonely being of pure cosmic energy who only wants to play board games. Currently: In some weird anti-space reality place.... or something. Status: Lonely

Damn it , I didn't take your pretzels! Pine - Mr. gear's mom who gave him up for adoption because his father was evil. It's unclear why she didn't get him back once Sir Chair set out to dominated the world. Currently: Looking for a place to live Status: Semi-good

Don't you know smokes are bad for you? Peter Jackson - A super evil smoke that likes to kill people at random from a phone book. Currently: In jail Status: Evil

I've grown used to always being on fire. I'm not allowed near children Constantly Burning SaM - He's constantly on fire, but still manages to keep his part time job as a janitor. Not allowed in gas stations though. Currently: Working with the League of Lesser Evils Status: Super-Hero

You will meet your ever-present end you dim-witted do-gooders!! Crazy Jimmy - A crazy pipe Bomb that is related to Mr. Gear and uses the worst possible wording for everything. Currently: Floating around the world in a very damaged space pod. Status: Evil/Crazy (Created by Tim Cyr)

Would you like to buy some car insurance? Marvin the Button - A pointless button that appears rarely. Can change his size at will. Currently: In jail. Status: Evil

I am the doorstop of doom! And Death! And Despair and ummm... I forget, I'm hungry. Evil Doorstop - A very, VERY freaking evil doorstop. That's about it. Currently: In jail Status: Evil

Wahahahahahahhha Evil Cheesus - A completely evil version of Cheesus Mr. Gear hired once to replace the real Cheesus. Currently: In jail. Status: Evil/Demonic

I will set a million gravies on fire!!! Admiral Chicken-wing - Can turn gravy into fire with his mind. Is currently Squiggly Mess's main side-kick. Currently: Sharing a jail cell with Squiggly Mess, Clippy, and Mr. Gear Status: Evil.

Everyone always answers to me! Phoney - He's such a Phoney , I hate him so much! Just a friendly guy who is around from time to time. Really seems to care about people and making sure the world is safe. Currently: Hanging out with best friend Pretzel probably Status: Really Good.

I like to fly!Phoney's son, who likes to do weird things like stand on drugs and hang-gliding. Currently: Hang Gliding somewheres Status: Good

Remember me mr. president? Evil Pretzel - Has something against the president. Also works full time at the bank. Best friends with Phoney. Currently: Working at the bank. Status: Neutral

What?!?! I am not stainless steel?!?! Why Not?? Evil Pan - Watch out! If he gets you in his pan, he might just flip you. What the @#% will you do then? Punk. Currently: In jail Status: Evil

Thank God I wore my Anti-copper pipe head cream this morning Captain Banana - Dimension K's resident super-hero. Currently: Trapped in the ruins of Dimension K fighting off the Anti-Christ Oreo Cookie. Status: Super Good-guy

I am an EVIL vending machine, that's why I vend only EVIL products, such as pepsi! Uncle Vending Machine - Evil Super-powerful badguy. Currently: In jail. Status: Evil

I AM DOCTOR BILLY ANDERSON JUNIOR THE THIRD OF FRANCE Doctor Billy Anderson Junior the Third of France - I don't even know myself what the #@!% this is suppose to be. I just got really lazy and made a half assed drawing and called it a character. Currently: Looking for someone who will talk to him, Status: Good

Perpare for the plug of doom! Sparky - Evil Spark Plug. Can shoot super powerful jolts of electricity Currently: In jail Status: Evil

I will make your hands evil as well as clean! General Hand Sanitizer - An evil general from the past who is responce for Nasa Egghead being evil at one point. Is now back to life with plans to take over and destroy the world. Currently: Building a drill machine to destroy the world. Status: Mega-evil

Sorcery is the only answer! Dr. Remote - Nasa Egghead's old lab assistant who is at least semi-evil and believes in spells and witchcraft over science. Currently: Working with Witch Hat and learning more necromancy Status: Evil (Created by Chris Lang)

Come closer so I can choke you! Artichoke - Likes to choke people. Currently: In jail Status: Evil (Created by Chris Lang)

You left your cape inside me! Uncle Booth - Phoney's uncle, who used to help superheroes. Currently: Retired Super-hero Status: Good. (Created by chris Lang)

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!111 The Amazing Tire - A superhero on tv, that fights crime. unfortinately he has no common sence, or any sence really. Currently: Working on his tv/movies Status: Good.

How'd you like to be a newt, dearie? He he he! Witch Hat - Crazy witch who may be over 600 years old. Often turns people into small animals, sometimes because they're annoying her, and sometimes for fun. Her powers have declined over the years, so her transformations rarely last more than two minutes. Also makes potions and casts mostly harmless but still annoying curses. Is Dr. Remote's magical advisor. Currently: Working at her mall shop Status: Crazy/semi-evil (Created by Chris Lang)

Cosmic. God hat - this is our world's answer to god. Currently: In heaven watching over Earth Status: More holy and good then anyone in my show (Created by Tim Cyr)

I'll cut you up!!!SAW BLADE OF DEATH!! - An evil saw blade ... but is a little rusty. Currently: In jail. Status: Evil

Now for a long dramatic pause before I kill you.Evil Clippers - Landed in our dimension after his hover craft exploded in Dimension K. Currently: In jail. Status: Evil

I will boot you manDr. Boot! - He will stick his boot in your ass... then probably get stuck, and die there. It will be a minor inconvience I guess. Currently: In jail. Status: Evil

You will not survive my Almond attack!!! The Anti-Christ - The horrible bring which has brought Dimension K near the brink of destruction. Currently: Destroying Dimension K and planning to take over other dimensions Status: VERY evil.

Hi.Mike the Microphone - his name is Mike ... He's a microphone ... That's about it. Currently: Working on local news anchormam Status: Good

Want to be committed?Pad - She works at the insane asylum, and commits people for no reason. Currently: Working at the mental institution Status: Good

Yes, I am so very, very evil... Billy - A bad guy with some kind of eye disease or something. Currently: Around town somewheres Status: Evil (Created by Mike McLennan)

... Topher - A cactus that seems to have the inability to talk. But if he kicks you, I'm sure you'll get prickels in your foor and you might invent a new curse word. Currently: Wondering what he is doing in this show Status: Good? (Created by Mike McLennan)

I will bounce you into a coma! BasketBall - Raised on the streets, and will kill you and laugh until his face is very sore. Currently: In jail. Status: Evil

Anybody want to see me play myself?Guitar - He's evil and a guitar, what more do you need to know? Can also use music based shock wave attacks. Currently: In jail. Status: Evil

I got to have my cell phone!Bad Apple - Obnoxious moron who talks too loudly and is a cell phone addict. Currently: Talking on his cell phone Status: Annoying. (Created by Chris Lang)

Can I put my staples in you? Charlene - A stapler that dated Clippy once. She still loves him. Currently: Living in town Status: Good.

Nobody suspects the little blue dot!Insignificant Blue Dot - He's so insignificant , he absolutly has nothing to do with anything! Currently: Unknown Status: Unknown

I LOVE DANGER!!! Mr. Gun - A gun that shoots people, and is sexually attracted to danger. Currently: Dating Baby Steps Status: Neutral

I'm drunk off myself Mr. Beer. - Pointless member of the town. Currently: Running the liqour store. Status: Good

Yes , I'm a superhero! Corn Starch - The best superhero of all! Currently: Sad over the loss of his side-kick sandwich, fighting crimes somewheres Status: Super-hero

I WILL KILL YOU DEAD 20 Dollar Bill - Also known as the murder of people ... basically the most annoying and pointless super-villian ever. Currently: Doing small pointless crimes Status: Evil/Crazy

Look how many exclamation marks I use when I talk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You have no chance now! Evil Semi Colon - He will defeat you with his constant use of the exclamation mark. Currently: Being evil somewheres Status: Evil

I'm too damn small! Mr. Gear's Clone - He's Mr. Gear's clone , what more do you want? Currently: Unknown Status: Lost

I am an Icice Icicle - Very evil, and if you touch him your hands will become very cold. Currently: Working with 20 Dollar Bill on petty crimes. Status: Evil

Do you think I'm fat? Debbie - Fat bus who is Silky Sheet's clone, and has a big crush on Clippy. Currently: Missing Clippy Status: Good

I was drawn by a drunk Half Assed Stick Man drawing - He looks so horrible , he'll blind you!!!! Currently: Roaming around. Status: Good.

This interview is over! The Mayor - The mayor of the town who seems to have a strange relationship with animals. Currently: Having sex with a moose Status: creepy....

I'm too young too talk bastard. Nicholas - Son of Mr. Gear. Currently: Foster home. Status: Good

Somebody hand me a baby. Evil Flower - Evil flower who likes to kill babies........... Currently: In jail. Status: Evil

I will now gently insert myself into your ass until you poo to DEATH The killer Suppository - Evil suppository that attacks you by inserting himself up people's asses. Currently: In jail. Status: Evil

I am currently insane! Some Crazy Woman - SHE'S CRAZY I TELLS YOU!! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA! Also works part time at the convience store. Currently: Working at convenience store Status: A little nutty

I'm a real pile of crap! Crap - He either came from a cow or a buffalo , but I don't think you'd want to find out. Currently: You don't want to know... Status: Good.

I'm hooked on the internet. Get it!? Do you , do you , huh? Network Card - Son of Clippy Currently: In foster home Status: Good

Don't make me drop the eyebrow Eyebrow - Evil and satanic Eyebrow likes to kill people by dropping his very sharpened and pointy eyebrows on them. Currently: In jail. Status: Evil

You know I used to be a whole cake , but I was so tasty I ate myself down to one little piece. Infact , I'm kind of hungry... Cake - Daughter of Clippy. Currently: In foster home.Status: Good.

I'm going to paint you to death!Paint guy - He will draw on you! And mabye paint you untill you can't take it anymore! Currently: Painting people's apartments for money. Status: Unknown

Word. War Crate - A crate. Currently: On vacation. Status: Evil.

I'm tired of being evil, I think I'll work at Walmart Sir Chair 3 - Sir Chair 2's clone, who would rather get a job then fight evil. The only chair to completely turn good and abolish his evil ways. Currently: Taking courses and trying to do something better with his life. Status: The only good chair

I am the best chair!!! Sir Chair 4 - Another Chair clone. He tends to let the other chairs do most of the talking for him. Currently: In jail. Status: Evil.

I'm mentally ill I is Sir Chair 5 - Yet Another Clone of Sir Chair 2, this one turned out retarded..er then Sir Chair 2 Currently: Trapped in a bubble. Status: Evil/crazy.

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA I SHALL JAB YOU WITH MY POINTED LEGS!!! Sir Chair 6 - Seems to be evil, and looks more deadly then the other chairs. Currently: In Mexico. Status: Evil.

I will roll my chair wheels all over your pretty face! Sir Chair 7 - Seems more deadly then the other clones, because he has wheels and I dunno.... can move faster or something. Sure, that will work. You stupid people. Currently: Trapped in a tree. Status: Evil.

I hope a slight breese doesn't occour! Sir Chair 8 - Made out of a wicker basket and completely useless if a slight breeze picks up... Currently: Caught in a slight breeze... Status: Evil.

Characters Currently Dead in the Series

Come with me my children , and I will lead you to the great land of cheese. Cheesus - The holyiest of cheeses , look at all the holes in him! Has some unusual cheese related powers. Always seems to be kind of insane. Also seems to miss the most obvious things right infront of his face. Also is the only voice of reason and Good to Mr. Gear and Clippy, he seems to be the only thing stopping them from turning evil. Or I should say, was. We lost poor Cheesus tragically recently while he was trying to save Mr. Gear and Clippy. Currently: In Heaven. Status: SUPER GOOD.

MUAHAHA! I AM SIR CHAIR TWO... the second... see my hat!?!? Sir Chair II - Sir Chair's clone. He has alot of peoblems with hats. Sir Chair's main goal is to life up to the reputation of his evil Father. Became a Lawyer then died. Now re-formed with Sir Chair and now only exists inside of him. Well actually he dosen't exist at all anymore, he is now fully intergrated into Sir Chair. Currently: No longer exists, has combined with Sir Chair and is part of him now. Status: Evil/Very crazy.

stop looking at me! Mrs. Mirror - Can reflect any attack. Previously Mr. Gear's wife. Currently: In hell. Status: Good.

Soon I'll dominate the world! Evil Robotic Orange - A terrible technological orange that isn't programmed for mercy..... Currently: In a junk yard somewheres. Status: Evil by programming.

I love your BIG brain, it makes me all hot. Finger - Nasa Egghead's later lab assistant who appears to have an unhealthy obsession with people who have big brains. Currently: In heaven. Status: Good.

I WILL EAT YOUR FAMILY!!Pinky - An evil monster that persuades Mr. Gear to drink, only Mr Gear can see him though... Currently: Locked somewheres in the back of Mr. Gear's mind. Status: Evil.

You will soon feel my wrath! Unhappy Dude - He is evil and when your as evil as unhappy dude you take your time to enjoy it Currently: In hell. Status: Evil. (Created by Darkwave)

Whoever controls the cell phones controls the world! Big Cell Phoney's rival at work, who attempted to take over the world with subliminal messages in cell phones. Currently: In hell. Status: Evil. (Created by Chris Lang)

Only through me can you gain a power greater then any communist. Darth Communist - The Dark Lord of Communism who almost took over the world once. Currently: In hell. Status: Evil.

Cosmic. Billy Bob - Farmer who farms. Currently: In heaven.Status: Good until you mess with his farm.

I am the q-tip Q-Tip - The guard that protects the only exit to hell. Currently: Guarding gateway between earth and hell. Status: Evil.

Hi. I feel like killing you. Hell's Clock - A ruthless murderer so vile and evil , he plays with your mind before he kills ya. Currently: In hell. Status: Evil.

Can I be your friend? Preferably an EVIL friend? Jeffery X - Clippy's Imagionalry friend ... who likes to kill people , but only Clippy can see him. Currently: Locked somewheres in the back of Clippy's mind. Status: Evil.

I hate Clippy... but I AM clippy??! Cher - This is Clippy, he died and came back as a zombie. Then died again... But is technically considered a new character. Currently: In hell. Status: Evil.

Must destroy... Tokyo! Evil Hat - The Hat that has caused so much evil throughout the series, has the ability to control and make evil those who wears him. Currently: In Dimension K hell Status: Evil.

Prepare for the killing of you... by me! Evil House of Doom! ... and possibly despair - I living, breathing, evil house that wants everyone to suffer his wrath!!! Currently: In hell. Status: Evil.

CHAIR MAN HUNGRY!!! CHAIR MAN - Fat bastard constructed entirely out of chairs and is out of control and always hungry for chair meat Currently: In hell. Status: Evil.

All fear me because... I am some other evil hat!!! Pink Hat - Sir Chair's second hat, who hates his first hat...... also evil and controls whoever wears him. Currently: In hell. Status: Evil.

I love life so much! Happy Dude - He loves life so much. That and getting high. Currently: In hell. Status: Good.

Who the hell took a bite out of me!?!?! Sandwich - Sidekick of Corn Starch , who has absolutely no personality created. Currently: In hell. Status: Super-hero

Don't look at my huge mis-shapen head!!! Silky Sheets- Squiggly Mess's clone child which got deformed and has a huge head and I hate him, and so do you. Squiggly had him killed. Currently: In hell. Status: Evil.

I'm Tired. GET IT?!? GET IT!!!?!?!?! Mr. Hubcap - He dosen't do much , but he rolls alot. Currently: In Heaven. Status: Good.

I'm so lazy Sloth - He's so damn lazy. Currently: In Heaven. Status: Good.

... Epoh - Retarded and pooly drawn character. That is quite possibly the worst concept for a character ever. He does not talk and his head looks like a stop sign, I'm pretty sure his body was stolen from south park. And it's horrible and I hate him very much. Currently: In Heaven. Status: Good. (Created by Kayol Hope)

Use the farce , I mean force. Star Wars Logo - When there is a star wars rip off , he is there. Currently: In Heaven. Status: Good.

I am going to download the internet!!! Evil Robot Mr. Gear - I don't feel like writing an explaination for this. Currently: In a thousand pieces on an old back road. Status: Evil.

Is that a straight edge in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me? Protractor of Passion - An evil protractor who is sexually attracted to math... Currently: In hell. Status: Evil.

Muahahha Dr. Onion - Crazy half brother of Cheesus. Not really evil, but talks like everything he does is evil, and acts like that too. But really, just an idiot, and a pointless and annoying character. Currently: In hell. Status: Evil.

I have nothing to say. Mr. Hanger - Clippy's best friend. Currently: In hell. Status: Semi-evil.

Me , Clippy , and Mr. Gear will be friends forever! Mr. Tack - Mr. Gear and Clippy's best friend before the first comic was made. Currently: In hell. Status: Semi-good.

Oh my gooda , oh wait , that's me. Gooda - He is the devine leader of all cheese. Currently: Lost somewheres in Cheesus's mind. Status: Good. (Created by Darkwave)

BITCH you want to fight ME?!? Nimbus - Puffy pink cloud that floats around and likes to get into drunken knife fights with people Currently: In hell. Status: Evil.

I hate all races Lemon - Semi-evil son of Evil Orange. Currently: In hell. Status: Evil.

Damn it , I'm so fat. Pants - Clippy's best friend ever who's horribly over weight. Currently: In Heaven Status: Good.

Ummmmmmmmmmm Cellulite Monster - A terrible monster, composed from Mr. Gear's fat. Currently: In hell. Status: Evil.

SOON I SHALL SEEK MY REVENGE ON THE ABOVE WORLD!!! Evil Demon of 1000 years revenge and doom - An evil demon of 1000 years revenge and doom. Currently: In hell. Status: Super-evil.

This webpage gets updated every time someone dies/comes back to life. Also if a character changed appearance, that picture is updated here as well.

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